Wow, life has been so crazy! I realize I signed up to tell you all about it when I started this blog, but can I be real for a second? Every time I sit down to write something I get in my own head. I wonder, will this blog will ever make a difference? Do people actually care about my day to day? Maybe it’s just me going through this or what if it isn’t perfectly written? Will they care? I love blogging but, am I out of my league? I eventually start to think maybe I should be doing something productive instead and, unfortunately, those are the thoughts that sink in and usually win.
BUT, I’ve decided NO MORE, and I am going to tell you why.
Last week, my 13 year old son would not stop bugging me about going outside to try roller skating. He has always wanted to be able to skate, so he can play hockey with his dad someday but, our situation is a bit unique with Ayden having SB (Spina Bifida). Roller skating is a skill he’s attempted many, many times with little to no success. He has “normal” -whatever that even means- muscle function from the knees up, but knees down is another story. Between muscle weakness and nerve damage, he has difficulties with strength and function, which makes activities like roller skating extra difficult.
I am going to be honest, I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t want him to go out there and come back in heartbroken because his body doesn’t want to work the way he is asking it to, but that’s exactly what happened and he was absolutely crushed.
“I couldn’t even take ONE step, mom!” He said before he fell into my lap sobbing. “I’ll never be able to do it! Why did this have to happen to me? It’s my dream, mom! They (his legs/ankles) just don’t work! I will never play hockey!”
I had nothing. The only words I could manage to get out through the tears were, “I love you, I’m sorry, and it will be okay!” I just kept repeating those small phrases to him praying they were enough. I needed him to feel all of my love. I needed him to know he wasn’t alone in any of this.
The next few days were rough for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. I kept replaying it, over and over again, thinking about how his world is changing and if he’s handling it all okay and then a few days later, something CRAZY AWESOME happened…….
A GIANT hockey net showed up at our house! That’s right! He decided he wasn’t going to let his diagnosis dictate his life. He even spent his own $78 to buy this net. He told me he wasn’t going to let fear or Spina Bifida stop him. He was GOING to play, somehow.
Ayden’s got the idea! Who cares what they say or what’s supposed to be? If it’s scary, just go for it! You only get ONE life, that’s it! So why not? What’s the worst that could happen? If it’s hard, keep pushing! Like my husband always says to me, “You do you, boo boo” (cracks me up every time)!
We all have the exact same choice, each and every day! I don’t know about you, but I’m with Ayden, I’m going for it!
He bought the net and I pushed the “Publish” button.
It’s a start.